List of fears

ok, this is on my list and it's not one I'm looking forward to, but I think it will make me stronger.

First and foremost, I am afraid of snakes.  It all started in 1st grade at the bronx zoo when I thought a snake got out and was on my shoulder - in the end, it was my mom's camera strap that fell off her arm and onto mine when she picked me up, but I was terrified.  I have been truely terrified of snakes ever since.

Second I am afraid of getting in a car accident.  This isn't one I plan on facing.  I was scared of driving for a long long time, but Rob pulled me out of that.  Now I don't mind driving and even find it mildly relaxing, but I still get nervous when I think of going long distances and don't like to travel such distances on my own.  I have been in a few minor accidents, but I'm afraid of someone being taken from me, or seriously hurt in a tragic accident.

Earwigs.  This isn't a detrimental fear - in that, I can still crush one if I see it, but I heard an old wives tale that if they get in your ear they can eat your brain, and those little front claws they have are so icky, that just it just must be true.

Big scary rides.  By this I mean anything that has any sort of a long vertical drop at Disney this comes to Tower of Terror and Splash Mountain.  these are the two rides at Disney that I am really adamant about not going on, but i feel bad about it bc they are two of rob's favorites.

Ok, so I am a nervous nelly.  I am always afraid that the worst is going to happen.  It's really annoying in situations bc while I'm not expecting it, I am - perhaps trying to prepare for it.  So I am always on edge when I am in the car and someone else is driving, or on edge watching kids or dogs play. I am always "preparing" myself for some big tragedy rather than just letting things be that will be.  Its something I inherited from my dad.  perhaps his only bad quality.  It's something I'd like to get over.

I am afraid to let people get to close.  It's really hard for me to make friends because I am just afraid of being burned.  I am very open with people so I trust them in that I can share myself with them - i am very extroverted, but I am very afraid to actually trust people bc I haven't made many friendships in life with people that treat me fairly.  Ok, I have a lot of great friends - lots of them, but they are all far away and it would be nice to find a few nice people here close by that I feel I can trust fully to be there for me, no questions asked.  If that's the level of friendship I offer to others, that is something I expect of my friends in return. 

I am afraid of confrontation.  This doesn't need much explanation, but I don't like having to defend myself bc frankly, I'm not very good at it on the spot.  I am much better at expressing myself on paper then I am in person in a confrontational setting.  I care way to much about what the other person says, then I end up seething about it for a long long time. I need to learn how to tell people how I feel to their faces, and let them know that what they do/are doing upsets me, when it is happening.


this is a good start, but I am sure that there are others that belong on this list.  most of these are emotional fears ... now it's time to face one of them.  .....