ok, this is on my list and it's not one I'm looking forward to, but I think it will make me stronger.
First and foremost, I am afraid of snakes. It all started in 1st grade at the bronx zoo when I thought a snake got out and was on my shoulder - in the end, it was my mom's camera strap that fell off her arm and onto mine when she picked me up, but I was terrified. I have been truely terrified of snakes ever since.
Second I am afraid of getting in a car accident. This isn't one I plan on facing. I was scared of driving for a long long time, but Rob pulled me out of that. Now I don't mind driving and even find it mildly relaxing, but I still get nervous when I think of going long distances and don't like to travel such distances on my own. I have been in a few minor accidents, but I'm afraid of someone being taken from me, or seriously hurt in a tragic accident.
Earwigs. This isn't a detrimental fear - in that, I can still crush one if I see it, but I heard an old wives tale that if they get in your ear they can eat your brain, and those little front claws they have are so icky, that just it just must be true.
Big scary rides. By this I mean anything that has any sort of a long vertical drop at Disney this comes to Tower of Terror and Splash Mountain. these are the two rides at Disney that I am really adamant about not going on, but i feel bad about it bc they are two of rob's favorites.
Ok, so I am a nervous nelly. I am always afraid that the worst is going to happen. It's really annoying in situations bc while I'm not expecting it, I am - perhaps trying to prepare for it. So I am always on edge when I am in the car and someone else is driving, or on edge watching kids or dogs play. I am always "preparing" myself for some big tragedy rather than just letting things be that will be. Its something I inherited from my dad. perhaps his only bad quality. It's something I'd like to get over.
I am afraid to let people get to close. It's really hard for me to make friends because I am just afraid of being burned. I am very open with people so I trust them in that I can share myself with them - i am very extroverted, but I am very afraid to actually trust people bc I haven't made many friendships in life with people that treat me fairly. Ok, I have a lot of great friends - lots of them, but they are all far away and it would be nice to find a few nice people here close by that I feel I can trust fully to be there for me, no questions asked. If that's the level of friendship I offer to others, that is something I expect of my friends in return.
I am afraid of confrontation. This doesn't need much explanation, but I don't like having to defend myself bc frankly, I'm not very good at it on the spot. I am much better at expressing myself on paper then I am in person in a confrontational setting. I care way to much about what the other person says, then I end up seething about it for a long long time. I need to learn how to tell people how I feel to their faces, and let them know that what they do/are doing upsets me, when it is happening.
this is a good start, but I am sure that there are others that belong on this list. most of these are emotional fears ... now it's time to face one of them. .....
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
update
1. Establish my own photography business. – It is called City Country Photography
2. Acquire pro quality tripod and off camera flash with softbox.
3. Develop a secure price list for my photography. – This is always something to edit, but I do have a solid price list that I am comfortable with.
4. Maintain a client basis with a mailing list and at least 10 references.
5. Find a fun cool group of people in Missoula with common interests for me and Rob. - Rob and I have friendships with 3 of our neighbors, some friends now here from UI and some friends of Rob's from work. We also know quite a few kids from church and have plans to do something with them...eventually. They're all grad students at the University of Montana so they're rather busy. It also is a big bonus have our sister Janice here. I think Rob feels outnumbered with three ladies in the house
6. Move into my new house and decorate it with a style that emanates the “City-Country” feel. – My living room is themed on my final project for photography school – “America”. It is based on me moving from NY to MT.
7. Get a puppy/dog and train him. – she knows sit, lay down, stay, come, out, enough, leave it, and a few tricks like shake, wave, “bang” = play dead, and she’s working on heel and sleep. There are other’s that I’m sure aren’t on here. And there are other things that aren’t really tricks like I say “walk” and she goes to her leach on the hook and touches it with her nose, or I say treat and she goes to her treat cabinet, or I say outside and she goes to the backdoor to be put outside. She also twangs the door stop when she needs to be let out and it hasn’t been offered in a while. She’s an awesome dog. We have just taught her beg and bow as well! =)
8. Get bicycles for Rob and I.
9. Go bicycling with our dog regularly.
10. Cook dinner at least twice a week . – we set up a schedule and I cook dinners usually on sun or mon and thurs or fri.
11. Start going back to church on a more regular basis and develop ourselves in the church community. – we have a chili cookoff that we organized this Sunday night. I’ve also met a couple cool girl in our church that I’m looking forward to getting to know better.
12. Honeymoon. – Hawaii or Disney World.
13. Visit the other location ^ at some point. - we are heading to Disney for my birthday in Sept.!!! YAY!
14. Go to Harry Potter World at Universal and drink some Butterbeer.
15. Print a bunch of my fine art photos and frame them – either for myself, as gifts, or to sell. – I printed 3 western themed prints to hang in my house.
16. Photograph at least 2 “destination” weddings.
17. Be photographing the equivalent of at least 1 event a month – so 12 a year.
18. PROMO material. – I now I have awesome business cards, fliers and price sheets. When I get a mailing list, I’ve also designed 4x6 postcards that can be sent out as well.
19. Pay off RMSP loans.
20. Own at least 2 additional lenses – an 85mm F1.8 lens, and …(?)
21. Spoil my husband with breakfast in bed. – to be fair, he didn’t eat it in bed, but I did wake up at 7am on a Saturday and made him mickey pancakes, bacon, and sausage.
22. Develop a habit for keep my new house clean and tidy. – I’m still working on this with the 2 dogs, it’s tricky, but I never let it get too bad.
23. Go on a Road trip with the girls. - This weekend we're heading to the Augusta Rodeo. about 90mi. NE of Missoula.
24. Manage my budget efficiently – business and personal. - I set up a document on my computer to get on track with my business bookkeeping. It'll help for taxes next year for sure!
25. Photograph at least 1 rodeo a year.
26. Go garage saling this Spring and put aside some of my stuff to sell in one of our own.
27. Make homemade ice cream.
28. Visit the Southwest, the only corner of the country I’ve never been to – AZ, TX, or NM.
29. Develop a solid pantry in my house – a good supply of meats, seasonings, and non-perishables.
30. GARDEN!!! - pretty flowers, a patio, a lawn, and some amazing landscaping – done by me and Rob.
31. Learn something new every day for 2 weeks – textbook style.
32. Take a photo every day for a month. Plan ahead.
33. Research photography projects and complete 3. – so I’ve got my projects…just need to get out there.
34. Cook dinner for my parents at least once a month every month for 6 months.
35. Family get-together/get-away with all 8 of us - parents, “kids” and spouses. - it was quick and I think we need another one, but we all went to a glass blowing gallery in Beacon. It was only about an hour, but it would be nice to all go on a trip somewhere together sometime.
36. Write a Christmas letter and send it out to family and friends. – I also sent out cards and a video slideshow via e-mail.
37. Develop an address book of all family/friends.
38. Keep in touch with RMSP folks for photography support and advice. – It may be unfair that they're back in town, but we're re-building old bonds. Great!
39. Put a substantial amount of money away into savings.
40. Start eating healthier – more veggies and less fried foods – we’ve had a real cooked meal almost every night for 2 months.
41. Fix my antique rocking chair and set it up on my new front porch.
42. Making a posing guide/manual with the help of models/friends and utilize it at photo shoots.
43. Make a habit of calling my brothers more often.
44. Network! Talk to local photographers, and ask about a second shooter relationship with some of them.
45. Find a few doggie friends for Jasmine to play with. - Jas has made a few doggie friends for doggie playdates including a chow mix and a german shepherd. She is getting better with other dogs. she's come a long way.
46. Design/have a real working business site for my photography
47. Update my Blog at least twice a week for a month.
48. Build a snowman.
49. When something good happens, pay it forward and write about it.
50. Write a children's book.
51. Illustrate it.
52. Go on a real “date” with Rob.
53. Get a part time job. – Back at Block. Only temporary, but It’ll suffice for now.
54. Organize all of my documents and develop an efficient filing system. – Now the trick will be to keep up with it.
55. Go to the beach/ocean.
56. Tie a note to a balloon and let it go.
57. Update my driver's license and SS with my husband's last name.
58. Stay up one night to shoot the sunset AND the sunrise in the morning, with star trails in-between.
59. Go snorkeling/scuba diving.
60. Write a thank you note to everyone in my life who has helped me get to where I am now.
61. Get crafty - develop a craft hobby for homemade crafts. – I’d say 80% of my Halloween and Christmas décor this year was homemade.
62. Document fun and interesting family history for the future kids - Kennett and Whaley - I started an account on ancestry.com, but I’ve come to a dead end. I’ve got a bit more work to do. So this may just be to document the history my parents know about their parents.
63. Have/go to a BBQ.
64. Bring homemade baked goods or homegrown veggies the new neighbors.
65. Start a bucket list.
66. Make a list of fears and face one of them.
67. Sign up for and volunteer at the humane society/animal shelter at least once a month. – I have decided that I am going to visit the shelter and take photos of the pups, and take them for “training walks” whenever I am able.
68. Laser Tag!
69. Have my photography/artwork on display in a local hotel, cafe, or restaurant.
70. Make a scrapbook or photo album for the year.
71. Renew my passport
72. Answer the "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind" – if you’d like to see them, they’re up on Facebook.
73. Make a pinhole camera and use it! - I've got the plans, it's time to execute!
74. Get crafty for the holidays - make decorations and get traditional.
75. Make a difference to 1 child. – Make a Child Smile. - I sent a note to a child with a heart defect.
76. Learn/teach myself some unique photo editing tricks in Photoshop - I found some cool sites with tutorials. granted, most of them are Lightroom - but they have styles that I really like and are very simple but effective.
77. Find an awesome dessert recipe and invite friends over to share it with us. – counting my cookie pizza as this one. Recipe is here: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Cookie-Pizza-2/Detail.aspx
78. Have a board game night – we’ve had at least 3; once in Whitefish, and again for the holidays.
79. Photograph a landscape from the same location, capturing all four seasons
80. Photograph lightening
81. Scan old photos into computer and post a few good memories.
82. Make a “My day in 6 words” Journal and make a habit of using it.
83. Go to the planetarium and look at the stars through their telescope.
84. See 5 famous NY/NYC landmarks I've never been to before. - we went to the empire state building, the MoMA, Top of the Rock, The Plaza Hotel, and the Statue of Liberty. Plus lots more - we also went to the MET, Central Park, FAO Schwarz, Hard Rock Cafe, Times Square, Rockefeller Center, the Today Show....and lots more!
85. Make an idea journal and sketch ideas/photo visions/dreams as they come to me. - now I just need to be better at using it!
86. Learn to say "Hello, Thank You, and I love you" in 5 languages. – I posted this one on my blog.
87. "Adopt" a child to sponsor for Christmas and spoil them like crazy! – we “adopted” a 2 year old little girl and got her books and puzzles. Then we worked with the church to help organize and sort the gifts that everyone bought. It was fun!
88. Host a dinner party – For the first one I made spareribs for the first time ever and my hubby still has dreams about them.
89. Learn how to shoot mini videos with my DSLR.
90. Christmas cookies!
91. Carve pumpkins for our porch and make bread from the guts. – ok, so the pumpkins rotted and we couldn’t make the bread from that, but I made the bread with my mom from new pumpkins.
92. Go a week without TV.
93. Draw something in wet cement. – We drew our initials in the sidewalk outside our house. It sort of got rolled over, and now it’s just a faint impression, but still, we did it!
94. Put together a scavenger hunt or go on one. - the hunt exists, but i need some people to get involved with it!!! pick up those cameras friends...let get this show on the road!
95. Plan a trip overseas and put some money aside to go.
96. Finish a crossword puzzle book. – Almost done with the second one!
97. Make a list of my 10 greatest accomplishments from each decade of my life - so that'll be 3 lists by the time we get to day 1001!
98. Go on a fun photoshoot with a friend. - Kristian I am still waiting for you to visit for this one!
99. Identify 100 things that makes me happy
100. Do something or go somewhere spontaneous.- I am claiming Rob's reunion as this one - it wasn't supposed to be spontaneous, but we weren't going to go until about 2 hours before we actually left, so it kind of was.
101. Put $1 for every goal completed in the first year into savings. $5 for the second year, $10 for the third year and $15 for everything not completed.
2. Acquire pro quality tripod and off camera flash with softbox.
3. Develop a secure price list for my photography. – This is always something to edit, but I do have a solid price list that I am comfortable with.
4. Maintain a client basis with a mailing list and at least 10 references.
5. Find a fun cool group of people in Missoula with common interests for me and Rob. - Rob and I have friendships with 3 of our neighbors, some friends now here from UI and some friends of Rob's from work. We also know quite a few kids from church and have plans to do something with them...eventually. They're all grad students at the University of Montana so they're rather busy. It also is a big bonus have our sister Janice here. I think Rob feels outnumbered with three ladies in the house
6. Move into my new house and decorate it with a style that emanates the “City-Country” feel. – My living room is themed on my final project for photography school – “America”. It is based on me moving from NY to MT.
7. Get a puppy/dog and train him. – she knows sit, lay down, stay, come, out, enough, leave it, and a few tricks like shake, wave, “bang” = play dead, and she’s working on heel and sleep. There are other’s that I’m sure aren’t on here. And there are other things that aren’t really tricks like I say “walk” and she goes to her leach on the hook and touches it with her nose, or I say treat and she goes to her treat cabinet, or I say outside and she goes to the backdoor to be put outside. She also twangs the door stop when she needs to be let out and it hasn’t been offered in a while. She’s an awesome dog. We have just taught her beg and bow as well! =)
8. Get bicycles for Rob and I.
9. Go bicycling with our dog regularly.
10. Cook dinner at least twice a week . – we set up a schedule and I cook dinners usually on sun or mon and thurs or fri.
11. Start going back to church on a more regular basis and develop ourselves in the church community. – we have a chili cookoff that we organized this Sunday night. I’ve also met a couple cool girl in our church that I’m looking forward to getting to know better.
12. Honeymoon. – Hawaii or Disney World.
13. Visit the other location ^ at some point. - we are heading to Disney for my birthday in Sept.!!! YAY!
14. Go to Harry Potter World at Universal and drink some Butterbeer.
15. Print a bunch of my fine art photos and frame them – either for myself, as gifts, or to sell. – I printed 3 western themed prints to hang in my house.
16. Photograph at least 2 “destination” weddings.
17. Be photographing the equivalent of at least 1 event a month – so 12 a year.
18. PROMO material. – I now I have awesome business cards, fliers and price sheets. When I get a mailing list, I’ve also designed 4x6 postcards that can be sent out as well.
19. Pay off RMSP loans.
20. Own at least 2 additional lenses – an 85mm F1.8 lens, and …(?)
21. Spoil my husband with breakfast in bed. – to be fair, he didn’t eat it in bed, but I did wake up at 7am on a Saturday and made him mickey pancakes, bacon, and sausage.
22. Develop a habit for keep my new house clean and tidy. – I’m still working on this with the 2 dogs, it’s tricky, but I never let it get too bad.
23. Go on a Road trip with the girls. - This weekend we're heading to the Augusta Rodeo. about 90mi. NE of Missoula.
24. Manage my budget efficiently – business and personal. - I set up a document on my computer to get on track with my business bookkeeping. It'll help for taxes next year for sure!
25. Photograph at least 1 rodeo a year.
26. Go garage saling this Spring and put aside some of my stuff to sell in one of our own.
27. Make homemade ice cream.
28. Visit the Southwest, the only corner of the country I’ve never been to – AZ, TX, or NM.
29. Develop a solid pantry in my house – a good supply of meats, seasonings, and non-perishables.
30. GARDEN!!! - pretty flowers, a patio, a lawn, and some amazing landscaping – done by me and Rob.
31. Learn something new every day for 2 weeks – textbook style.
32. Take a photo every day for a month. Plan ahead.
33. Research photography projects and complete 3. – so I’ve got my projects…just need to get out there.
34. Cook dinner for my parents at least once a month every month for 6 months.
35. Family get-together/get-away with all 8 of us - parents, “kids” and spouses. - it was quick and I think we need another one, but we all went to a glass blowing gallery in Beacon. It was only about an hour, but it would be nice to all go on a trip somewhere together sometime.
36. Write a Christmas letter and send it out to family and friends. – I also sent out cards and a video slideshow via e-mail.
37. Develop an address book of all family/friends.
38. Keep in touch with RMSP folks for photography support and advice. – It may be unfair that they're back in town, but we're re-building old bonds. Great!
39. Put a substantial amount of money away into savings.
40. Start eating healthier – more veggies and less fried foods – we’ve had a real cooked meal almost every night for 2 months.
41. Fix my antique rocking chair and set it up on my new front porch.
42. Making a posing guide/manual with the help of models/friends and utilize it at photo shoots.
43. Make a habit of calling my brothers more often.
44. Network! Talk to local photographers, and ask about a second shooter relationship with some of them.
45. Find a few doggie friends for Jasmine to play with. - Jas has made a few doggie friends for doggie playdates including a chow mix and a german shepherd. She is getting better with other dogs. she's come a long way.
46. Design/have a real working business site for my photography
47. Update my Blog at least twice a week for a month.
48. Build a snowman.
49. When something good happens, pay it forward and write about it.
50. Write a children's book.
51. Illustrate it.
52. Go on a real “date” with Rob.
53. Get a part time job. – Back at Block. Only temporary, but It’ll suffice for now.
54. Organize all of my documents and develop an efficient filing system. – Now the trick will be to keep up with it.
55. Go to the beach/ocean.
56. Tie a note to a balloon and let it go.
57. Update my driver's license and SS with my husband's last name.
58. Stay up one night to shoot the sunset AND the sunrise in the morning, with star trails in-between.
59. Go snorkeling/scuba diving.
60. Write a thank you note to everyone in my life who has helped me get to where I am now.
61. Get crafty - develop a craft hobby for homemade crafts. – I’d say 80% of my Halloween and Christmas décor this year was homemade.
62. Document fun and interesting family history for the future kids - Kennett and Whaley - I started an account on ancestry.com, but I’ve come to a dead end. I’ve got a bit more work to do. So this may just be to document the history my parents know about their parents.
63. Have/go to a BBQ.
64. Bring homemade baked goods or homegrown veggies the new neighbors.
65. Start a bucket list.
66. Make a list of fears and face one of them.
67. Sign up for and volunteer at the humane society/animal shelter at least once a month. – I have decided that I am going to visit the shelter and take photos of the pups, and take them for “training walks” whenever I am able.
68. Laser Tag!
69. Have my photography/artwork on display in a local hotel, cafe, or restaurant.
70. Make a scrapbook or photo album for the year.
71. Renew my passport
72. Answer the "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind" – if you’d like to see them, they’re up on Facebook.
73. Make a pinhole camera and use it! - I've got the plans, it's time to execute!
74. Get crafty for the holidays - make decorations and get traditional.
75. Make a difference to 1 child. – Make a Child Smile. - I sent a note to a child with a heart defect.
76. Learn/teach myself some unique photo editing tricks in Photoshop - I found some cool sites with tutorials. granted, most of them are Lightroom - but they have styles that I really like and are very simple but effective.
77. Find an awesome dessert recipe and invite friends over to share it with us. – counting my cookie pizza as this one. Recipe is here: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Cookie-Pizza-2/Detail.aspx
78. Have a board game night – we’ve had at least 3; once in Whitefish, and again for the holidays.
79. Photograph a landscape from the same location, capturing all four seasons
80. Photograph lightening
81. Scan old photos into computer and post a few good memories.
82. Make a “My day in 6 words” Journal and make a habit of using it.
83. Go to the planetarium and look at the stars through their telescope.
84. See 5 famous NY/NYC landmarks I've never been to before. - we went to the empire state building, the MoMA, Top of the Rock, The Plaza Hotel, and the Statue of Liberty. Plus lots more - we also went to the MET, Central Park, FAO Schwarz, Hard Rock Cafe, Times Square, Rockefeller Center, the Today Show....and lots more!
85. Make an idea journal and sketch ideas/photo visions/dreams as they come to me. - now I just need to be better at using it!
86. Learn to say "Hello, Thank You, and I love you" in 5 languages. – I posted this one on my blog.
87. "Adopt" a child to sponsor for Christmas and spoil them like crazy! – we “adopted” a 2 year old little girl and got her books and puzzles. Then we worked with the church to help organize and sort the gifts that everyone bought. It was fun!
88. Host a dinner party – For the first one I made spareribs for the first time ever and my hubby still has dreams about them.
89. Learn how to shoot mini videos with my DSLR.
90. Christmas cookies!
91. Carve pumpkins for our porch and make bread from the guts. – ok, so the pumpkins rotted and we couldn’t make the bread from that, but I made the bread with my mom from new pumpkins.
92. Go a week without TV.
93. Draw something in wet cement. – We drew our initials in the sidewalk outside our house. It sort of got rolled over, and now it’s just a faint impression, but still, we did it!
94. Put together a scavenger hunt or go on one. - the hunt exists, but i need some people to get involved with it!!! pick up those cameras friends...let get this show on the road!
95. Plan a trip overseas and put some money aside to go.
96. Finish a crossword puzzle book. – Almost done with the second one!
97. Make a list of my 10 greatest accomplishments from each decade of my life - so that'll be 3 lists by the time we get to day 1001!
98. Go on a fun photoshoot with a friend. - Kristian I am still waiting for you to visit for this one!
99. Identify 100 things that makes me happy
100. Do something or go somewhere spontaneous.- I am claiming Rob's reunion as this one - it wasn't supposed to be spontaneous, but we weren't going to go until about 2 hours before we actually left, so it kind of was.
101. Put $1 for every goal completed in the first year into savings. $5 for the second year, $10 for the third year and $15 for everything not completed.
Completed as of today - 58
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